Parenting, part two

On this tape, Abraham encouraged parents to notice the difference between guiding and controlling the life experience of their children. She says a parent’s goal is to foster the child into a new arena of life experience.

Every parent was a child and remembers the perspective of the child. “From your vision of being a child, you determined to be a better parent,” she said. You decided the things you were never going to do as a parent - “a prime example of making a decision from a place of lack.”

She said humans expect too much of themselves. “There is a tendancy to want to be already knowledgeable on all subjects - a new job, being a parent - you demand understanding of yourself before you have gained it. You can only learn through life experience.”

Tell the child “I do not have all the answers but I do have a certain understanding that life is supposed to be fun and an arena of new decisions to be made and adventures to have.” That is guiding, not controlling.

“Parents cover up their feelings of inferiority / incompletion by saying that ‘I know this’ or ‘I know that.’ At an early age the child sees the parent is not as smart as the parent thinks he is.”

“Acknowledge that you do not have all the answers, or know appropriate action, or know what to have or do, but you do know what you are wanting to feel - and if you do that you will continue on your path and decisions will come to you. You want your children to feel good and make choices from there.”

She helped us look at our relationships with our parents. “Your feelings about your parents -- you keep dragging by the hair that which you have experiencd in the past. The best way to have powerful positive relationship with anyone is to look for what you are wanting to see because that will evoke positive emotion within you.”

“The real question is how do you want to feel about your parents. Do you want to feel good or do you want to hold them as the scapegoat for everything going wrong in your life?”

“You are the common denominator in your life experience. You are the evoker of your experience with others. Let them off the hook. Let them out of the arena of responsibility. Let them be insignificant others for now - don’t care what they think or say about you.”

She says whatever your life experience as a child, you could have changed it. “We want you to understand that you had control but you didn’t know you did so you couldn’t use it.”

“Others want to sympathize and emphathize, say you are justified in your emotion because you had bad parents. We say even though you are justified, you are creating your experience by allowing it. Let your dominant intent be that the majority of the time you feel good. You chose to come forth to learn your strength and to learn that good and bad is in everything even your parents. As you focus on what you want to see, you will feel good.”

“The life experience that you evoke reflects what you are thinking.”

“When you allow negative emotions within you, you attract negative experiences to you. Spend time pivoting” when you notice negative emotions.

“When you have a negative experience it is of value because it is your inner guidance telling you what you want or do not want.”

“If you have had a painful experience in your past, release it to your past. If not it will remain in your now.”

“You have always been the attractor of your experience. Experiencing what you do not want helps you understand what you do want.”

Abraham suggests we can develop a new relationship with our parents no matter what our age. “First, as you go to bed, leave the past behind. When you get up, know that all day you will be looking for what you are wanting to see. Start ahead by wanting a good interaction. Then listen to guidance.”

If you are having an interaction with your parents and you feel bad, leave. “Then say I want a positive experience with them and I want to have guidance on how to have a good relationship with them.”

“You will be the inspiration to evoke positive emotion from others.”

“Different perspectives of a person evoke different emotions in others.”

“Thinking is the receiving of block of thoughts - not necessarily in words. Newborns think, and are very powerful receivers of blocks of thought. As a baby you are responding to the thoughts around you and your response creates your experience.”

“You know it’s hard to imaine a baby being smart enough to get what they want - but watch them.”

Abraham emphasized that we choose the clumps of thoughtforms and people we live with. We are not affected by everyone on the planet unless we choose to be. We choose what we want to be surrounded by.

“Have you had an experience where you could not endure any more and you said ‘I give up - you win.’ This is a powerful point: the point of no longer resisting. Your focus of resistance goes away and you say “I let it win and now it is gone.’ You don’t have to hit rock bottom before you pivot. You can pivot when you feel only a little bad.”

“You are creatures that are so much wanting to experience the positive, that even a little negative is discouraging.”