Mating, part one

On this tape, Abraham has good suggestions for those looking for the perfect mate, and for those who are already mated.

Abraham started by reminding us of the Law of Attraction. "It is not your physical being, doing or having that the Law of Attraction works with -- it is your thoughts. It is by virtue of the direction of your thought that you are attracting."

She said that the fantasy of relationship is the walk into the sunset, and yet real life experience shows that relationship is not like that.

She suggests exploring your beliefs around relationship. "In relationship you identify loss of freedom and less joy. As a child, what did you see in adult relationships? What do you see now in others? Do these foster within you expectancy of positive relationship or negative relationship. Acknowledge that the majority of thought regarding relationship has been pointed toward the lack of what is wanted, rather than what is wanted."

"Young people want / believe in good relationship because there is a natural inherent knowing that life is good, and it is good to attract experiences that are good. Your deepest beliefs are in your joy, freedom, growth."

Say to yourself: "Life is supposed to be good and I choose to experience what is good."

"You attract by virtue of your vibration and you vibrate by virtue of your thoughts. And yet you ponder the relationship that is wrong and consider what you do not want -- and then you attract it. So you keep attracting relationships not in harmony with what you want but in absolute harmony with your thoughts," she said.

Guardedness attracts what you are guarded against.

"How can you come into something without guardedness? If you could understand that everything on this planet is for the enhancement of your state of being… Almost none of you feel adequate or whole or sure or secure. You think thoughts that are not in harmony with who you really are, and thus you are out of alignment with your greater being."

When trying to attract a mate, make sure you are feeling good within yourself. "The majority of relationships are not satisfying to the individual because the individual was not satisfied in and of themself when they attracted the partner."

When we try to attract a perfect mate from a place of lack, we attract someone else in lack. "You think 'I am not enough as I stand for I am not whole.' From feeling lack you attract another who is not feeling enough."

If you currently do not have a partner, this is the time to be satisfied with your self before trying to attract a mate.

"When your patterns of thinking are toward the lack of who you are rather than the positive aspects of self, you reach out from lack. 'If this one would love me I will feel better.' There is not another one who can love you enough to compensate for you not loving yourself."

To find a mate, Abraham says "First, find appreciation for self. Second, come together with another for the purpose of co-creation. We would make no effort on the second until we had accomplished the first."

Individual creators must be in a place of positive attraction before they can come together. Two coming together from a place of lack make more lack.

If you do have a mate, Abraham suggests ways to make the relationship even better.

"If you have a partner, stop for a few days to focus on the basics of being satisfied with yourself and looking at positive aspects within yourself. If you do this, all your relationships - minor and major -- would begin being different in your experience."

"How does one come into balance with self? Recognize that you are a very old being who has come to massive conclusions. You as a physical being have access to these conclusions. The way you feel is your conscious awareness of whether you are harmonizing or not harmonizing with your inner being. When you have postivie emotion or thought, you are in harmony."

Abraham pointed out our mistake: "You feel lack and then you look for a way to soothe it. This is backwards."

"Begin each day by reminding yourself that the only thing that matters is that I feel good. Then, when you come into touch with a thought, word or action that doesn't feel good, you'll find yourself moving away from it. Create from the inside out. Don't be so quick to jump into action. First pay attention to how you feel, then talk to yourself about what you want to have. 'I want a relationship where I feel good, where I am uplifted and I uplift them.'

"You are the attractor of your experience. The way you think and feel attracts unto you."

"Feel good and you will attract someone to make you feel good."

"You believe you can take action outside of these laws - you cannot."

"You do things in harmony with what you are feeling, so you must get deliberate control over how you are feeling, which means you must get deliberate control over your thoughts because your thoughts affect your feeling."

"You might feel good about yourself and still not believe you can attract a good relationship, so you won't attract one."

One of Abraham's suggestions is to attract data from those around us. So if you are wanting a good relationship, look around you to see positive aspects in the relationships of others. "Begin pulling the stronger story of positive aspects from the parade of beings in front of you."

If you are currently in relationship, spend time every day noting positive aspects of your relationship, your mate, and of you.

If you pay attention to a flaw, it becomes more apparent in your experience and their experience. If you focus on the positive aspects, you add power to and expand upon those.

"Within all that is there are positive and negative aspects. You as creator of your experience need to focus on the positive aspects as that will be your point of attraction."

"As you stand and complain and defend or rationalize where you are, you will continue to attract what you do not want."

"If you look at the positive aspects, your experience will start to get better and better, and you will attract more positive experience. You cannot attract by virtue of your words and action. It is the vibration of the thought within you that attracts."

"Many of you will find that what you are wanting is in your current relationship but you have been focused on the negative. Others will find that your positiveness is unable to change the other and you will leave."

Abraham says that perfect co-creating is about seeing the positive aspects of each other.

"When you are integrating with another it is always to your advantage to look for their positive aspects because then you draw those into your experience."

"If you spend more time focused on what you are not wanting rather than what you are wanting, then you end up pointing at others saying it's their fault" you don't have what you want.

You must be selfish enough to feel your joy before you have any joy to give to others.